


Take A Bite of My Heart Tonight

by TheRudeTasteofSane



Category: K-pop, SHINee
Genre: M/M, So much angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-16
Updated: 2019-04-16
Packaged: 2020-01-14 22:56:45
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death, Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,257
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18486148
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheRudeTasteofSane/pseuds/TheRudeTasteofSane
Summary: Goodbye stranger, it's been nice.





	Take A Bite of My Heart Tonight

**Author's Note:**

> Old fic, cross-posted from my ancient LJ and AFF with a couple minor grammatical differences.

It wasn't exactly the kind of club you advertised, but there were still plenty of people lined up outside. Taemin ignored all the groans when he hopped to the front of the line and was immediately let in. Dressed in extremely tight, shiny leather pants and a form-fitting vest, he was a far cry from the ever-innocent, weird high school student everyone seemed to think he was.

 

He walked up to the bar, ignoring the condescending look the bartender gave him. He was used to it by now. He smiled sweetly.

 

"The usual please Kibum,~" Kibum clearly wasn't happy filling the order, but nevertheless slammed a glass down. Taemin watched as Kibum poured the substance, and the faint scents of formaldehyde and bleach amidst the coppery tang reached Taemin's nose. It was a familiar smell, and his shoulders slumped with relief even as his mouth watered. He hadn't even realized they were tensed. He downed the glass of sweet liquid in one go and immediately felt his head clear. His incisors seemed to sharpen. "Thanks."

 

"Get the fuck out of here," Kibum was glaring at Taemin. Taemin giggled in response.

 

"Ooh, _someone's_  in a testy mood today," Kibum looked ready to explode when someone else stepped in.

 

"Seeing as how you're obviously underage, I have to agree with the bartender there," Taemin faced the newcomer with thinly veiled annoyance.

 

"Aren't you supposed to mind your own business?" he said in the most civil voice he could muster.

 

"Not really. Not when you're concerned. How old are you, anyway? 12?" Taemin smiled with pleasure.

 

"My mother taught me to never talk to strangers. _Especially_  ones as good-looking as you. My age really doesn't matter, though, does it? Because we both know those glasses aren't filled with alcohol," he skipped off happily at the incredulous look on the guy's face.

 

He'd stumbled across the place almost 2 years ago. He'd been beaten up by some of his classmates and dumped in the alley next to the club. He figured it was his smell that had attracted a "kind" worker from the club, who turned out to be Kibum. And then.. Kibum just couldn't help himself... Well. That was all over and done with, and Taemin was actually kind of _grateful_  to Kibum. He'd had sooo many _wonderful_  experiences that he would otherwise have never even dreamed of.

 

He stopped thinking about the past when he heard a bass-heavy song start playing in the background. Dancing was exactly the thing to take him away from his present frame of mind. He was good at it, and would've made a career out of it if he could. But after his unfortunate accident, he wanted to become an EMT. Lots of access to living breathing beings in that venue.

 

Still. He knew how to move his body, and he enjoyed all the stares from the regulars. Joon was smokin' hot, but he had a bit of a drinking problem. Too much of the stuff made you jumpy and anxious. Just like an addict. Kyuhyun was pretty hot too, but he had a boyfriend. Some Chinese guy named Zhou Mi. And then there was Jinki, the owner of the club. Taemin was pretty sure Jinki was available (and interested), but he hung back because of Kibum. He didn't want to give Kibum more reasons to hate him.

 

He felt hands on his hips and had a switchblade at the throat of the guy from the bar a few seconds later.

 

"I dance _alone_ ," he hissed icily and heard a low chuckle. He turned to see Jinki looked at him with a raised eyebrow. He retracted the blade and put it back in his pocket. He glared. "I don't recall asking for your help."

 

"Aww why not? I like playing the hero," the undertone of sarcasm in Jinki's tone infuriated Taemin. He remained silent, though, and ignored both Jinki and the bewildered guy from earlier. He went back to dancing and everything faded to the background. Until he felt hands on his hips again. It was the same guy from before, and he scowled in annoyance.

 

"I told you. I dance alone," he roughly shoved the hands off his hips.

 

"At least tell me your name," the guy insisted.

 

"Taemin," Taemin rolled his eyes at the smile he received. So naive.

 

"My name is Jo--," "His name is Jonghyun," Kibum appeared next to Jonghyun. "He's my cousin." Taemin glanced briefly at the 2 of them.

 

"Well, that definitely changes things. It was lovely to meet you, Jonghyun. However, I'm late for an important date," Jonghyun was apparently less-than-impressed with the White Rabbit reference. Taemin walked towards the door without hearing a reply, and kept on walking even when he did. He had better things to do. Like go home and sleep so he could be at least half-way okay for school.

 

He couldn't understand why he even bothered at this point, though. School had always been a challenge for Taemin. He fell asleep in half his classes due to staying out late. And he was relentlessly teased throughout the day. It was a wonder he had decent grades. His only friend in school was Minho.

 

Minho was kind of quiet and somewhat of a loner. It sometimes distressed Taemin how distant Minho seemed towards him, but couldn't really blame him. Not after what had happened between them.

 

"You should come with me to the club tonight, Minho. Please? I'm always so bored there," Minho sighed.

 

"I'm good, thanks," Minho unconsciously rubbed the ridge on his neck and Taemin felt shame well up in his chest. He didn't even know why he'd suggested that.

 

"Suit yourself," was the end of their conversation.

 

For the rest of the day, Taemin couldn't focus in class. All he could think about was the night before. When Jinki had been interested enough to "come to his aid", whatever that meant. Even knowing Jinki wasn't a nice guy and that he'd almost certainly had ulterior motives didn't stop Taemin's heart from beating a little harder.

 

Later that night, Taemin wasn't surprised at all to see Jonghyun sitting at the bar. He wondered briefly why Kibum's cousin was there. He didn't _look_  like one of them. But before he could get too invested in his train of thought, his eyes were caught by Jinki’s entrance onto the main floor. Taemin’s mouth went dry at the curve-hugging jeans and flimsy silk shirt. He was obviously trying to catch the attention of someone in the vicinity. Taemin only hoped it wasn't him.

 

He closed his eyes momentarily, trying to give himself a modicum of restraint, when he realized that Jinki was headed in his direction. Jinki stopped a few inches short of him, smirking.

 

"Like what you see?" Taemin felt his self-control rapidly slipping. Even Jinki's _voice_  was seducing him. He started breathing a little heavier, and Jinki's smirk widened when he noticed.

 

"Unfortunately for you, no," Taemin managed to sound almost unaffected. "What I see is absolutely revolting." the smirk was replaced with a frown.

 

"Why do you fight me so hard when it's only too obvious that you're interested, Taemin?" but Taemin hadn't heard him. He was focused on Kibum, who was currently flirting with some guy at the counter. His fists tightened on the countertop, almost blind with fury.

 

Taemin tried to tell himself that it was because he'd always thought Kibum liked Jinki, and because all the times he rejected Jinki felt wasted. He turned his attention back to Jinki to find seriousness staring him in the face. It scared him a little, because Jinki was _never_  serious.

 

"I'm not a whore you can just throw away, for one," Taemin felt weak in the knees. He wanted to tell Jinki just how untrue his words were. Even if it was only once, Taemin would die happy if Jinki fucked him. "And for another, I respect the fact that there are other people involved in this."

 

Taemin didn't want to walk away, and when he looked over to find Kibum staring back at him with an unreadable expression all he could feel was frustration. There wasn't even a hint of the pride he usually felt for resisting temptation. He resented Kibum more in that moment than he ever had, bitterness flooding his tastebuds.

 

He didn't even want to contemplate dancing. He was too upset to be able to concentrate. God, what he _really_  needed was a drink, but seeing Kibum and hearing all that "you shouldn't be here" condescending bullshit would just make him feel even worse.

 

"I know you said you don't talk to strangers, but.. you look like you could use someone who'll listen," Kibum's cousin sat down next to him. "And here." Taemin downed the glass in one gulp, but it didn't even remotely relax him.

 

"I can't tell you anything," he scoffed. "Not about my life, anyway." He stood up and started to walk away. "Thanks for nothing."

 

"You're too damn bitter to be so young," Jonghyun muttered and Taemin stopped cold.

 

"Fuck it. Yeah, I am. And do you want to know why? It's because I had deal with becoming a fucking _freak_  all by myself. I was _14_  when it happened. I had no idea how to handle all the intense cravings for blood I started having. No one here had the fucking _decency_  to even warn me. And because I wasn't prepared, I almost murdered my best friend the day afterward. He will always have a scar on his neck, and that is my fault. But partly, it's _Kibum's_  fault because he's too goddamn afraid to man up and accept that accidents happen."

 

Taemin's voice had broken somewhere along the way, but by the end of his rant, the whole club had gone silent. Kibum was still looking at him with an unreadable expression, and Taemin  squared his shoulders before looking him dead in the eye.

 

"He still doesn't understand that I would do _anything_  for him even though he hates my guts so much he can't stand the sight of me." After his confession, Taemin turned his head back towards Jonghyun. "So there. I'm 17, and bitter enough to be 80. Are you fucking satisfied now?" Jonghyun made no reply, shocked into silence. He clearly hadn't expected a story like Taemin's. "And before you even start, I don't need your pity. I told you so you'd leave me the fuck alone."

 

Taemin walked out of the club, ignoring the ache in his veins telling him he needed a drink.

 

He resisted the urge to go back to the club for a week. He couldn't afford to stay away any longer. His self-control had become tenuous, and he found himself staring more and more at Minho's neck. Just a _little_... Those were the kind of thoughts that genuinely made him panic. Because by that point, he couldn't be bothered with such childish things as a bond of friendship. He was only a slave to his hunger.

 

He stepped inside the club and took a deep breath. The familiar scents of formaldehyde, iron, and bleach calmed him a little and he hesitantly walked over to the bar. He had been a regular at the club since the accident, but he'd never just stopped coming. He wondered how Kibum would react. Not that it mattered, really.

 

Jonghyun was behind the bar, helping Kibum with customers. Taemin smiled faintly. So that's why he was there. He'd been given a job. He sat down at the bar and Jonghyun sat a half-full glass in front of him. Taemin downed it in one gulp like he always did, and laid his head on his arms at the bar.

 

"I missed you this past week cutie," Jinki's voice reached Taemin's ear, and he shut his eyes in exasperation.

 

"How many times do I have to tell you, Jinki? I don't want to fuck you," there was such a lack of conviction in his voice that Taemin didn't even believe himself. "Just leave me alone. Please. Go pester Kibum."

 

"And why would I do that?" Jinki's voice held heavy notes of sarcasm, and Taemin simply did not have the patience to play games.

 

"Because he likes you. For whatever godforsaken reason, I don't know. You're a manwhore, and you throw away your fuck buddies like they're garbage. But apparently Kibum sees some redeeming quality that I don't," he snapped and he could almost feel Jinki's surprised amusement. "Now go. Be with Kibum, and I swear if you break his heart I will kill you." The silence on Jinki's end was proof that he knew it wasn't an empty threat.

 

"How extremely selfless of you," Jonghyun spoke up dryly. "Sure you don't want to give a kidney while you're at it?" Taemin glared weakly at Jonghyun.

 

"Would you kindly shut the fuck up?" Jonghyun's almost-smile disappeared at the flatness in Taemin's voice.

 

"I was just kidding. But really. I know how much you liked him and I haven't even been here all that long. It was nice of you to do that. Kibum never would have had the balls to walk up and say that to Jinki, so thank you for him," Taemin chuckled hollowly.

 

"Didn't I already say I would do anything for him, even though he hates me?" Taemin's bitter smile made Jonghyun's frown deepen.

 

"About that..," at that moment, the man himself appeared. He looked absolutely livid, and Taemin stood up sluggishly. He planted his hands on the bar to steady himself. He didn't feel good.

 

"What the fuck did you do that for?" Taemin shrugged.

 

"Why not? As your cousin so helpfully pointed out, you weren't exactly gonna tell him yourself," Taemin bowed. "You're welcome." Kibum was looking everywhere but Taemin's face, cheeks red with anger and probably embarrassment, and suddenly it was all just too goddamn funny. Taemin started laughing, even though he _really_  didn't feel like laughing. There was an ache in his chest that he knew no amount of blood would soothe. Jonghyun shot him an alarmed look while Taemin wiped tears out of his eyes.

 

"Well... be that as it may, _do not_  interfere with my personal life ever again," Kibum walked away and Taemin started crying. People all around the bar were starting to glare angrily at Kibum while Jonghyun tried to soothe Taemin.

 

"Why, w-why does it hurt so much that he hates me? I don't understand," he sobbed and Jonghyun rubbed his back. Even he was starting to feel angry with Kibum.

 

"I think you need to figure that out for yourself, Taemin," he murmured and Taemin's sniffling stopped after a while.

 

"He found me in the alley next to the club after I'd been beaten up by some classmates," Taemin sounded drained, but Jonghyun figured it was better for him to let it all out now. "He dragged me to one of the store rooms and took care of all my bruises and scrapes."

 

"Then.. I remember him accidentally slicing his finger open with a pair of scissors he was using and his blood got in my mouth. The 2 drops that slipped out were all it took for me to become a fucking freak. Isn't that something?" Taemin's weak attempt at sarcasm went without a remark. "I don't even feel human anymore. There's this constant hunger in the back of my mind."

 

"It was an accident, Taemin. No one's to blame," Jonghyun tried to soothe.

 

"I'm aware of that, Jonghyun. But it wasn't even that I was infected that bothers me. It hurts that Kibum acts like the accident never happened. He hates the sight of me, and it makes me feel like it's all my fault," Taemin slumped and sighed. "I should just give up. There's nothing I could ever do to make Kibum like me. I honestly don't see the point anymore." Taemin let his head fall forward on the bar. "Can I get another full glass, please?" Without a word of admonishment, Jonghyun set a full glass in front of Taemin.

 

It was just a couple of days later that Taemin’s life spiraled even further down the drain. Taemin was sitting quietly next to Minho and eating lunch when Minho spoke the words Taemin had always feared he would say.

 

"I don't think we should be friends anymore," Taemin nodded slowly, but he was fighting the urge to scream and cry.

 

"I understand," it didn't exactly take a rocket scientist to figure out why Minho didn't want to be friends anymore. It only made the shame and guilt Taemin felt even worse.

 

The next few weeks passed in a blur. It was the loneliest Taemin had ever felt in his life. He still went to the club, he couldn't afford to not go, but these days he sat in a corner and drank exactly 2 glasses of blood. One when he came in, and one when he left. He didn't socialize, and Jinki was leaving him pretty much alone. Jinki was busy with Kibum, and it killed Taemin to see them be so couple-y in front of him. But at this point, Taemin wasn't sure if he was more jealous of Jinki or Kibum.

 

He was in his now usual corner when he saw Minho enter. His eyes widened, and he felt his protective instincts kick in when he noticed several people giving Minho the once over. He grabbed his switchblade out of his pocket and walked quickly over to Minho. He ignored Minho's protests and dragged him over to where he'd been sitting. He sat down and put the switchblade within easy reach in case people decided to get bold.

 

"What are you even _doing_  here, Minho?" he hissed out. "These people wouldn't hesitate to kill you for a quick drink. Do you know that?" Minho looked around, as if noticing the hungry stares for the first time.

 

"I just wanted to know. I wanted to know what it's like," Minho said quietly. "I mean, you seem to get pretty damn excited every time this place comes up in conversation." Taemin flushed with embarrassment.

 

"Well, I also come here because I can get a drink without having to slice anyone open,"  Taemin pointed out. "It's quick, easy, and they get blood packs from the local hospital. And it's legal. So, to me, it's worth every penny." Minho looked a little green at Taemin's casual talk of drinking blood.

 

"I see. How does one.. turn?" Taemin shrugged, not seeing the look in Minho's eyes.

 

"I'm not sure how it really works. But, from what I understand, the infected blood enters your body and then becomes dependent on the stuff," Minho nodded.

 

"I guess that makes sense to me," they sat in an awkward silence after that, not really knowing what to say to one another. "Taemin, why are you one of them? Can't you turn it off or something? _Please_. I miss you, but I can't be around you and know that you want to tear me open and suck me dry," Minho begged.

 

"No, Minho. I can't. I've since learned that my body has become dangerously dependent on human blood. It would literally kill me to stop drinking it. It's… it’s better that we're not friends," Taemin smiled sadly. Taemin stood up and Minho stood up next to him.

 

"I'm sorry, Taemin. I'm really sorry," Taemin waved a hand.

 

"I should've expected it at some point anyway. You can't be friends with a freak, right? It gets too weird after a while," Taemin chuckled a little. "Can I get one last hug, though? Don't worry, I won't do anything. I'm just going to miss you." Minho looked hesitant, but nodded. Taemin wrapped his arms around Minho tightly. "I'm sorry we can't be friends anymore because of me. I wish you the best in life, Minho. I really do."

 

He let go and felt himself trying to swallow tears at the look on Minho's face. "C'mon. I'll walk you home. Because, really. It's not safe for you in here." He turned and made motions for Minho to walk in front of him. He was particularly worried about Joon trying to sneak up on them. Joon had definitely looked crazed when Minho walked in.

 

The whole way to Minho's house was spent joking and laughing like they used to. Back when Taemin hadn't been a freak. He missed those days. A lot. And he was pretty sure he'd miss them a lot more when Minho walked by him in the hallways without sparing him a glance.

 

Feeling drained, Taemin didn't bother with going back to the club. He went back to his own house and slept. Not that it did much good. He was always tired and sluggish these days.

 

At school, just as he predicted, Minho didn't even acknowledge him as a human being. He was alone. His parents had never cared enough to ask what was going on, only asking what was required of them. Was he doing okay in school, was he comfortable there, etc. All his answers were bullshit, but his parents didn't notice.

 

It was on a Friday when he stumbled on them. He walked into the club, not even bothering to say hello to the bartenders (not that Kibum would've ever cared anyway) when he sat down. But it was Kibum who set the glass down in front of him. Not Jonghyun. Taemin frowned and looked up scanning the room, looking for Jonghyun. He wasn't there, and Taemin felt disappointment well up in his chest. He genuinely liked Jonghyun.

 

"Where's Jonghyun?" Taemin asked, only slightly interested. What Jonghyun did on his own time wasn't really Taemin's concern.

 

"He's back in the stock room," memories flashed in Taemin's mind. He gulped.

 

"I'm gonna go check on him," Taemin ignored Kibum's protesting, and headed towards the back room. He pushed open the door and walked through the rows of shelves. He felt like he was long overdue for one of those serious talks with Jonghyun, anyway.

 

So when he found Jonghyun and Jinki fucking at the back, at first he couldn't comprehend what was happening. Since _when_? Why? _How_? He felt his heart shattering, and couldn't make sense of the pain. Was it because of betrayal, because Jonghyun knew, and had done so anyway? Or was it the anger and hurt because Jinki was _exactly_  the kind of person Taemin had pegged him to be?

 

He turned and walked away without Jonghyun and Jinki even noticing he'd been there in the first place. He shouldn't be this goddamn bitter at 17. Jonghyun's words came back to him and he nodded in agreement this time. He'd been through a lot of shit for only being 17. He put his head against the bar, not even caring if he looked stupid.

 

"Kibum... do you know?" Taemin asked quietly. He was sure that Kibum had heard him when the clinking of glass stopped momentarily.

 

"It's been going on for about a week," he said at last. "I found out while I was restocking the bar. They were back there, and I heard them." Taemin found himself feeling angry and sympathetic at the same time.

 

"What time does your shift end?" Kibum seemed surprised when Taemin asked out of the blue.

 

"3am. Why?" Taemin nodded to himself.

 

"Because I just got a really bad idea," Kibum seemed to catch on, and cleared his throat.

 

"I won't. You're underage, and I'm not, and it's wrong," there was a note of finality in Kibum's voice and Taemin couldn't decide whether he was frustrated or hurt or angry.

 

"And don't forget, you don't sleep with people you hate," Taemin started laughing, but tears were building up in his eyes. "Wouldn't want to wake up feeling disgusted at the person next to you." In his heart of hearts, Taemin was just an insecure kid, crying out for his maker. Naturally, that vulnerability was showing itself to the person he really wanted to appear strong in front of.

 

"Taemin... I don't--" "Save your bullshit, Kibum," Taemin interrupted. "It doesn't matter anyway. I'm not supposed to care about you anymore. You obviously never gave a damn about me. So whatever Kibum. I probably would've regretted it as much as you would." Taemin hopped off the bar stool unsteadily. "I wish you would've just left me to die in that alley." He walked away with his shoulders slumped in defeat.

 

He was halfway home before he heard footsteps behind him. He pulled out his trusty switchblade and turned to face whoever was following him. He felt the grip slacken when he came face to face with Kibum. There was an awkward silence between them, and Taemin got impatient.

 

"What the fuck do you want?" Taemin broke a little when he saw Kibum flinch.

 

"I'm.. I.. I... wanted to apologize," he finished lamely. "I'm not a good person, Taemin. I wish I wasn't such a fucking coward, but I am. I'm not even half the man you are. It astounds me that I was a complete dick to you, have always been, and you're _still_  struggling to be nice to me. I think you deserve to know that I don't hate you. I just.. I see a mistake that I beat myself up for every time I look at you. I hate _myself_  for it. You were just a kid, and I ruined your life. God, Taemin. I'm so fucking sorry." If Taemin had been expecting anything to happen, he definitely hadn't expected _this_  in his wildest dreams. This sudden confession. It was surreal.

 

"Kibum.. It was an accident. I don't blame you. I wasn't that upset with the change, I just wanted you there. I needed your help, and you treated me like you hated me. It seemed like you couldn't stand the sight of me, and do you even know how much that hurt? In the most crucial part of my life, I needed help and there was no one there," Kibum looked sick at the prospect.

 

"Tell me how I can make it right," Kibum begged. "Please." Taemin leaned in and smashed their lips together. The kiss was very heated on his end, where Kibum was hesitant.

 

"I want to fuck you," he managed in between kisses. "Just once, and I'll never bother you again." Kibum looked even more hesitant, but eventually conceded.

 

"Fine," he took Taemin by the hand and led him back to the club. "We'll have to wait until my shift is over. But it won't be too much longer, I promise."

 

Back at the club, Jonghyun was working the bar, looking extremely pissed. He saw Kibum entering the bar, his hand linked with Taemin's, and signaled for Kibum to go back to the stockroom. Apparently, Jinki had something he wanted to talk about. When Taemin started following him, Jonghyun shook his head. "I need to talk to you." So Taemin sat at the bar, looking expectantly at Jonghyun.

 

"Don't beat around the bush. I saw you and Kinky Jinki back in the stockroom earlier, so if that's what you want to talk to me about, save your breath," Taemin said flatly.

 

"No, but sorry you had to see that. I wanted to talk to you about Kibum," Jonghyun sighed. "You know he's going to regret it. He'll wake up the next morning, kick you out of bed and tell you to get out." Taemin smiled faintly.

 

"He won't have to. After we fuck, I'm leaving. And after tonight, I'm not planning on coming here ever again, so he won't have to see my ugly face," Jonghyun frowned, his eyebrows furrowed.

 

"But.. why?" he sounded highly upset.

 

"All I ever wanted was for Kibum to genuinely like me. And it's never going to happen, Jonghyun. You and I both know that. So I see no point in coming here anymore," Taemin suspected Jonghyun knew what he really meant. But he didn't have a chance to say more because Kibum walked out of the back room looking distraught. Taemin comforted Kibum as best he could. He didn't even have to ask to know what Jinki had said.

 

They walked out of the club hand in hand, and Taemin was happy. Sort of.

 

Taemin only remembered things in flashes after that. A flash here of them taking each other's clothes off, practically ripping them apart. A flash of Kibum's pale torso, the sensation of his leather pants tightening painfully. A flash there of Kibum's fingertips running over his bare body, causing his erection to twitch with even more need.

 

   "Oh fuck _Kibum_ ," he gasped out. Kibum crawled between his thighs and pushed a couple of lubed up fingers inside him. Massaging the muscles, trying to get Taemin to relax. Then his fingertips brushed against something that had Taemin writhing in Kibum’s grip. It seemed like only seconds afterwards that Kibum pushed something much bigger than fingers inside him. Taemin’s eyes were wide open to take in the look of pure bliss on Kibum's face, his mouth hung open in pleasure. Then Kibum started moving, and he moved his hips in time with Kibum's rhythm. God, Taemin wasn't a virgin, but he had never felt so good in his entire life.

 

But it was quick and it was dirty, and Taemin was pretty sure that was because even now Kibum was beginning to regret things. Well, it was still a good way to end things between them, in his opinion. After he was sure Kibum was asleep, he got up and put his clothes on.

 

A fitting end to their story, Taemin mused. For once, _he_  was the one walking away.

 

The next morning, Kibum woke up to memories of the night before flashing in his head. He looked around, bewildered, and almost panicked before realizing Taemin wasn't there. He'd been fully prepared to kick Taemin out, and tell the kid that it was all just a terrible mistake. He wandered into his kitchen, looking for something to eat when he spotted a note on the counter next to the coffee pot. Obviously, Taemin had left it there. It had his name on it, and curiosity got the better of him.

 

He opened it and read the simple message several times before the meaning behind it sunk in.

 

_Kibum,_

_I'm sorry to have caused you so much hardship and pain in your life. I hope we can meet in the next life under better circumstances._

_Love,_

_Taemin_

 

He prayed that the meaning he sensed in the words wasn't what he thought. He called Jonghyun, the only other person he knew Taemin was close to.

 

"Hey, Jonghyun? I got this weird letter from Taemin when I woke up, and I was wondering... Did he really mean it? Is he really gone?" Jonghyun was quiet on the other end for several minutes.

 

"Yes. He came by after he left your apartment, and he was in tears, Kibum. I hope you're fucking satisfied with yourself for helping a kid decide to end his life. He was in love with you, and you couldn't just fucking accept it and deal with it like a grown ass man," Jonghyun sounded increasingly upset. "Fuck you, Kibum. I fucking hate you. Don't ever try to speak to me again."

 

The call ended and it felt like someone had sucker-punched Kibum in the chest when he realized that Taemin was never coming back. And it was all his fault.


End file.
